Getting There
by Bunny'sWinterRose
Summary: An adult relationship forms and goes through trails and tribulations between Raphael and my OC. Several pairings and rated M for a reason. I own no rights to TMNT or Marvel property. More summary inside.


**Getting There**

_This is a TMNT/MARVEL UNIVERSE crossover fanfiction. I don't claim rights to any TMNT or Marvel characters. Only to Jennifer Leigh-Anne Howlette, my OC._

_This is loosely based to take place after the timeframe of the 2003 TMNT series although there are no direct references to a date. _

_The story is the idea that a young woman had been around the turtles for all most as many years as April and finds herself in a usual relationship with Raphael and the course of that relationship. _

_Forgive if it's too busy. I just ran with the idea. Please R&R._

_Chapter 1_

I yawned, making my way quietly through the darkened lair. The clock above the oven read just after three a.m. The guys would undoubtedly have returned by now and retired to their own beds.

That thought led my sleepy mind back to the reason that had awoken me at this unjustly hour. April and I had been friends since childhood, with one fact remaining even though we were now in our middle twenties. She was a bed hog. Normally, the queen size mattress in the guest room was big enough for us to share but on this night, April O'Neal had become restless and managed to sprawled herself across the entire bed; leaving me thrown upon the concrete floor.

After downing a small glass of water, and enjoying the peaceful silence of the warm lair, I regrettably began to move back toward the guest room. Intent upon forcing April over to her own side, and sleeping a few more fleeting hours. The bedrooms were on the second level of an old pumping station the guys had claimed few years ago after their old lair was destroyed in an attack.

Reaching the top of the stairs, Splinter, Leo and Mickey's rooms were to the left. To the right were Donny's room, the guest room and at the end Raphael's. All of the curtains were drawn to the left, as well as Donny's, so I walked on to my own. Nearing the green curtain that had been thoughtfully hung to insure our modesty, Raphael's red curtain caught my eye. He had left it partially open, maybe due to exhaustion, and the desire to peek in filled me.

Stopping in front of his room, I noticed that he was in fact resting peacefully. His mask, pads, and weapons removed and his face and body were relaxed. Though Raph was the biggest of the brothers, only nearly matched by Leo, he had left just under half of his queen size bed untouched, and his spear pillow called my name.

The thought of sharing Raphael's bed sent a shiver down my spine, and I could not remove my eye's from his amazing body. Though I had known the turtles and Splinter nearly as long as April herself, neither of us had become involved with any of the brothers past simple friendship in seven years. Now the thought of sharing that bed with Raphael in the most passionate ways flooded my tired mind.

I imagined kissing Raph and another shiver over took me as my feet moved of their own accord into his darkened room. My fantasy extended to him rolling over top of me and declaring his devotion, and then making endless love to me. Now standing just beside him, my body wouldn't move. This was my best friend of the past five years, and I had intruded upon his room and become aroused by fantasies of passion.

Shaking my head with a sigh, I turned intent now upon a cold shower before anyone could wake up, when his green hand grabbed mine and flipped me onto the bed. Raph rolled on top of me, supporting most of his impressive weight on his muscled arms. His green eyes shone even in the dark room and he took a moment to study me before grunting and rolling to his side.

A smirk formed on his mouth, as he lazily pulled the blanket up to his waist. "If ya wanted ta share my bed, all ya had ta do was ask, Jen."

I returned his smirk and rolled so that we were facing. "April is such a bed hog and your curtain was open some. You shouldn't make it look so invitin'."

He nodded and reached to pull the blanket up further across the bed, but stopped just short of covering my legs and studied me once again. "I'm all for ya stayin'. Who wouldn't want a woman like you in their bed but ya have ta answer a question first."

I nodded but said nothing. Already fully aware of the quality of his senses and where the conversation was headed.

"Why were you starin' and smellin' like a bunny in heat?"

_Chapter 2_

"_Blunt as usual."_ I sighed as that thought and an answer to give him ran ramped in my now wide awake mind. His eyes locked with mine as he studied me and I tried to form the words that lived inside my heart.

After a few minutes, his face took on a hurt expression, as if he'd been rejected and he moved to leave the room. "You're welcome to the bed; I'll sleep on the couch. Goodnight Jen."

Panic flooded my mind, and I reached out to catch his arm just before he stood. "Raph, please wait." Though he didn't lie back down, he didn't pull further away, and I saw that was my cue to continue. "I'm attracted to you, seeing ya without your mask and so peaceful, it got the better of me."

I felt his muscles flex under my fingers as he shook his head and sighed. "You've always been a strange one. Guess you've got a thing for Leo and Donny to, huh?"

His back was turned to me just enough that it hide his face, and his true emotions. I sat up and genteelly pulled his arm until we were facing again. "You know that I care for all of your brother's, and they're all attractive men." His eyes dropped to the bed, so I cupped his left check in my hand. "But it's you, and only you that I've been attracted to."

Our eyes locked and I could see the hoped that burned for something more in his depts. "You deserve more than I'm able to give. Romance, affection, and decorations of love... that stuff just ain't me."

I nodded and waited for him to continue the thought but he seemed lost as to where this conversation had led us. "Raph, we're attracted to each other. Why does it have to be more than too people that care about each other? There are people everyday that become involved for less of a reason than that."

At that point, Raph pulled away and stood; the rage in his green eyes unmistakable. "Because I'm not a man no matter how much I wish that I was right now. I can't take the shell off and pretend to be something I'm not, even for you."

I watched as he turned his back to me again and his body shook with tears and grief that he would not release. His pain broke my heart, and I realized that my own desirers weren't worth it. I stood from his bed and rested my hand upon his shaking shoulder. "I understand, and it doesn't change what I feel for you a bit. I want you Raph, but I won't force you to give something you can't."

He remained silent, and continued to stare at his dresser where his hands rested. His eyes slid shut and he gave no response. After what seem like an eternity, I walked to the curtain that hung as his door and sighed. "Jen." His voice so soft and uncertain stopped me as my hand reached the red material. I turned to see his face. "I'm sorry, I just..."

Gathering all my strength, I gave him a soft smile. "It's alright Raph. I wanted a something with you too." With that I turned and left his room, moving down the stairs and into the bathroom.

I stood at the sink, and looked upon my own unhappy face. _"How did that go so wrong? I was so sure we both wanted..." _Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I striped down and quickly stepped into the shower. Thinking about Raph and what we could have been doing was only going to lead to heartbreak.

Just as my hand reached for the soap, the shower door slide open behind me; as a determined looking Raphael stepped inside. He pressed my naked body against the wall and pinned his large chest to my own. "No strings. If we're going to take this further I need to know you won't invest in something that's not there."

I could feel our heartbeats racing and smell his arousal as our faces stopped just an inch apart. I studied his eyes, steadily waiting to see what my answer would be. "No strings, just two friends that care, and happen to have sex." He nodded. "And if either of us finds someone else or falls in love..."

His eyes softened at that and his large hand found my waist. "When you find someone else, or fall in love it ends."

"You could just as easily..." I started to debate it that he could just as easily leave me for someone but he wouldn't hear it.

"No more back in forth. I've made up my mind, now it's your..." I cut him off by wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him deeply. His hands ran my body as our tongues dueled for dominance.

We pulled apart and he stared into my eyes, needing to hear the words before moving on. I kissed him quickly and smiled. "Deal, take me Raph."

The next hour was filled with passionate cries as we discovered the new side our friendship. Though he claimed no experience, Raphael proved to be a very satisfying lover and brought my climax several times before we rested in the shower floor together.

My head rested against him as Raph held me with one arm, his shell against the shower wall. He reached and turned off the water with his other arm and then returned it to the floor. "So, do we hide this or..."

He chucked and I sat up and turned to face my new found lover. "In less we intend to wash up after every time before they see us; it'll be known soon enough. Our scents will be all over each other." He seemed thoughtful for a moment and then smiled. "As much as I'd like to see their faces, I can be a gentleman once in a while." He picked up my wash cloth and placed it in my hand. "Ladies' choice."

His actions made my choice very easy. Throwing the cloth back down, I turned and straddled his lap; his erection hardening again and rubbing against my backside. "Let them talk." He chuckled before kissing me again, and restarting the shower.

_Chapter 3_

Present Day

I couldn't believe the weekend was over. Logan had asked me home to the institute, an invitation I extended to the guys for the weekend. Splinter had declined but was being well cared for by April and Casey. We had spent the past few hours, making use of the _Danger Room_, grabbing showers and were making our way down the stairs to the main entry hall. Logan's "guest" as he had put it all weekend was due anytime and the guys were leaving to head home and pick up Splinter.

The three days had seemed to rush by and seeing them with all their bags in toe was slightly heart ranching. Raph was walking beside me, his overnight bag sung over his right shoulder and his left arm loosely draped across my own. We had shared my room while his brother's shared a triple dorm room. His random show of affection had my mind reeling over him being my lover and how lucky I truly was.

Over the past ten months Raph and I had met questions from friends and family members on both sides over our arrangement. Nearly everyone wondered if he had some how forced the terms upon me and more often than not Raph's answer had been "We're both adults, 'nd it ain't none of your business.". While my answers were more honest, and lengthy.

Donny had surprised me only about a week after our relationship twist had began. He asked me to meet him in the lab, "he needed help with one of the experiments", or so he said. Once we were both behind the closed door, he asked me to sit and kneeled in front of me on one knee, so we would be close to eye level.

"Jennifer, I know that your relationship with Raph has changed. If he's forcing you or anything of the sort..."

His brown eyes took on a look of shock as I began to giggle. "I'm sorry Donny, but it's just funny. No one is going to force me into a sexual relationship. And I would hope you'd know your brother well enough to know he'd never force me into anything."

He sighed and stood, pulling me into a hug as he did so. "I know he wouldn't, it's just so unexpected, and with Raph..."

I smiled and returned his hug, and then stood on tip toes to kiss his check. "The heart wants what the heart wants. Don't worry Donny, I know how to take care of myself in this and everything else, but its nice to have a friend that cares."

Donny was not the first to voice his concerns to me, and as I came to learn from Raph, he and the other's had already threatened him. About two months into our agreement, the questions stopped and everyone took a back row seat.

Now nearing the entry hall, I could hear Logan saying "this is my wife, Ororo". Raph's hand tightened on my shoulder for a second and then dropped as we came into view. Logan and Ro stood there with a tall, attractive, blond haired man. Though his moments never stopped, I could fell Raph tense beside me.

Logan turned and smiled, his hand motioning me forward. "Ah good, you're all still here. I would hate to miss y'all leave." I stood beside Logan and the guys stopped just behind us." I grinned; it was time to but Logan in his place a bit, so I used his birth name. "James, when you said "guest", you should have told me he was going to be the famous Captain Steven Rogers."

After nearly everyone had a good laugh, Logan pinched my arm. "Steve, these are our friends, Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo. The one with the smart mouth is my baby sister Jennifer Leigh-Anne Howlette." Arms were extended and Steve shook hands with all of the brothers; even allowing Mickey to throw twenty questions at him.

When he took my hand, he smiled warmly. "Logan has told me all about you. I'm looking forward to spending the week here." Though I could feel Raph's eyes on me, I ignored his heated gaze and returned Steve's smile. "I'm afraid I'll only be here through Thursday but I'm sure I can work some free time into my schedule."

_Chapter 4_

Two hours later, Steve had been boom barded with every question Mickey could come up with, along with several more from Leo and Donny. The guys had left to pack the van, and promised to return to exchange goodbyes even though Raphael's mood had soured and remained that way since meeting Steve. Logan and Steve were currently by the bay windows, while Ro and I were sitting on the couch planning the next class rotations.

A motorcycle's roar caught my attention and I stood in time to see Raphael leave the institute grounds. Logan's blue eye's met my own and he moved toward me as Donny reentered the room.

"Casey called, Splinter isn't feeling well and Raph decided to ride ahead." As he strolled towards me, his brown eyes betrayed him and he knew I could tell.

If Splinter had been sick at all, he would have been on that bike and not Raph. Leo and Mickey joined us before anything more could be said and exchanged goodbyes with Logan, Ro, and Steve.

My own goodbyes with the guys were more painful that expected. Donny was the first to wrap his warm arms around me. A promise to call later was whispered and paired with a sweet kiss to my forehead, then he stepped away.

Mickey spun us around the room in his strong arms and laughed the whole time, expressing just how much he had enjoyed the weekend. As he placed my feet back on the ground he grinned. "Pizza Friday night, Dudette?"

I patted his check and smiled. "I wouldn't miss it." And he too stepped away to join Donny.

Leo finally joined me after talking to Ro, a sad expression on his face. Wrapping the turtle I regarded as my "big brother" in a warm hug, I felt him sigh.

I knew that he felt Raph's reaction was his burden to correct and his hold on me tightened. "I'll talk to him tomorrow. Right now, Thor's hammer couldn't get through his thick skull."

I laughed and felt him relax. "I'll call him tonight and try to smooth it out some. Try not to worry; it's not your fault." Leaning into his ear, I kissed his check and whispered. "No strings, remember."

After the guys left, the rest of my day revolved around insuring Steve had everything he required to settle in. Logan had volunteered my time to our important guest and while Steve was a gem to be around, my mind wondered back to Raphael's sudden departure. Steve must have sensed my thoughts and rested a hand on my shoulder as we walked the grounds after supper.

"Worried about your friend?" His eyes were gentle and his smile was genuine.

I nodded and watched the stars twinkle in the night sky. "Yes, just a bit. It's not really unusual for Raph to fly off on the guys or even Casey on occasion, but almost never me."

He wrapped his arm further around my shoulders and drew me into a friendly hug. "The excuse they used was a lie wasn't it?"

I smiled into his embrace and returned it with a one armed hug. "Yes and no. Their father is a mutant as well, a rat. He's health is far from what it was a few years ago and they all worry about him. I asked Splinter to join us and he wasn't up to the trip this time. He stayed with some close friends we have in the city."

I felt him nod and hoped that he would let it drop at that but was sorely disappointed. "Your relationship with Raphael..."

I stopped him before he could get too personal. "It's complicated, and no I'm not ready to talk about that."

He stepped away from the embrace and stretched. "Well when you're ready, I'll listen if you wish." I nodded and he turned toward the house. "You should call him. I'm sorry that my presence caused drama for the two of you."

I smiled at his perceptiveness and pulled my phone from a jacket pocket. Sighing I met his eyes. "Don't be, Raph has demons and would have reacted the same with anyone."

With his back to me, I heard a "good luck" and I watched as Steve entered the main house.

The phone was now heavy in my hands, and I wondered if calling Raph tonight was really the right move. Had he cooled down enough to talk? Would he even answer my call? With a heavy sigh, I scrolled down to him name and pressed the call button.

It rung four times before his angry voice answered the call. "Yeah?"

I tried not to be hurt by his tone and sighed before speaking. "Hi, you left without saying goodbye. How is Splinter feeling now?"

I could hear liquid from his end, probably beer. "Splinter's tried, always is when he's away from home. As for leavin', you knew that we were."

"_Remember he's hurting too." _I sighed, this was going to be hard. "I just would have liked to tell you goodbye before you left. I thought the weekend was good and then you're just gone. It hurt." Then I realized, I'd said too much.

Raph's deep chuckle invaded the phone and I shivered. "We agreed when this started no strings, no feelin's, no commitments. We're not a couple, _babe_. What were you expecting; a decoration of my love and a long kiss goodbye?" He out right laughed. "That's not what **you** signed up for _sweetheart_."

Shaking now I could just barely hold the phone right. "I can't believe..." The tears had been winning out and now they were pouring down my face. "I thought...we were..."

A voice that I didn't know came through the phone then. "You thought what? That we were in love? I told you when this started I couldn't be what you wanted or dissevered. **Go nail "**_**Capt. America**_**" maybe he'll love you but I never**..."

When the line went died after that I collapsed on to the ground. The tears flowed and I cried aloud for a lost love that I'd promised myself I wouldn't get attached to. But I had lied to myself for nearly ten months. One of the terms of our agreement was that if we I fell in love, it would end. I'd been in love with him, played the game anyway, and now I wished the first morning had never happened.

Time was meaningless and I had no idea just how long my body had warmed the ground when a shadow hovered over me. Two blue fuzzy arms lifted me from the ground and I wrapped shaking arms around Hank McCoy's neck.

"He never loved me, Hank. It's over." He carried me all the way to my room and whispered things I didn't hear in my ear as he held my head to his now wet blue chest.

As sleep finally claimed me, I felt his skilled hands change my cloths and tuck the blanket around me. "Rest now, time heals all wounds."

_Chapter 5_

For a month after that I avoided the lair, and spent all my time involved in the institute. Though Leo, Donny, and Mikey called Raph was an untouched subject. I could only assume he had treated all of them the worse if my name was mentioned. And he remained the subject of very few conversations around the institute.

Steve became a regular visitor, enjoying the quiet and peace around missions for S.H.I.E.L.D. It was on a lazy Saturday afternoon that the civilian dressed captain knocked on my office door.

"Pardon the intrusion, Miss. Howlette, but what would an America hero have to do to get some luncheon company?" He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and a genuine smile.

I returned his smile and banged my pen against the desk I sat at. "He'd have to bring take-out with him, Captain."

He stepped into my office with water bottles and a large take-out bag in his right hand. "Done."

An hour later, my work had been forgotten, and pushed aside. Steve had brought all of our favorites from a Chinese place in town and his company had been wonderful.

As we were cleaning up, our eyes met and he smirked.

My interested was peaked. A smirk was an unusual expression for the honest solider. "What's with the look Steve? Someone else might think you're up to something."

He laughed and met my eyes again. "I'm out of practice for this but Tony has insisted." I laughed at his troubled face and he stuck his tongue out at me, but continued. "There's going to be an event for Stark Industries on the twenty-ninth that he's invited me to as his special guest. Unfortunately, I'm expected to bring a date and I was wond..."

At that moment a text came through on my phone with Leo's ringtone. "I'm sorry, hold that thought." I unlocked the screen and the read the short message as my heart fell. "_It's Splinter, get here now!"_

Forty minutes later, Hank and I ran into the lair, Mikey greeting us at the door. "Thank god, he's in the back Dr. McCoy with Donny." Hank nodded and took off without a word while I hugged a shaking Michelangelo. His eyes were red and his skin was cold from tears. I brought him to the couch and wrapped him in a blanket and then my arms.

"It'll be okay, Mikey. No matter what, I'm here you all of you." He nodded in my hold and soon had cried himself to sleep. I stood and adjusted the blanket around him before turning toward the hallway, finding Raph's hurt eyes upon us.

He walked up and watched Mikey's sleeping form before meeting my eyes. "He's hasn't slept in three days." I nodded and he moved past me and into the kitchen. After a moment hesitation, I followed.

Raph's back was turned to me but we both knew he had heard my feet on the hard floor. "What about you, Raph?"

He tensed and shook his head. "Until the past few nights, great. An empty bed does wonders, so don't ya worry about little ole me."

Though I wanted to be angry with him, I couldn't. I wanted to fight with him, to yell at him and curse him to the moon but that's not what either of us needed. It wasn't what Splinter needed. I shuddered and sighed. As I turned to head down the hall, I finally told him how I'd been feeling for over a month. "It's not all my fault. I broke our rules, Raph. I loved you, it's true, but you threw me away." I never saw the tear fall from his face.

After nine hours and major surgery, Splinter was recovering, the pressure on his heart relieved. Donny and Hank had moved to the kitchen table, each hovering over large cups of coffee and equally exhausted. I could hear them talking about the operation and what to expect next, both good and bad. I had been sitting in the living room area with Joy and April when Raph and Angel came out from Splinter's room.

Raph avoided my eyes and smirked to Joy. "If you're planning to stay tonight Joy, I'll leave room on the bed open." Without waiting for a reply, he thanked Hank and moved toward his room.

When he was gone, Joy touched my arm and I sighed. Her eyes were full of understanding for my situation. "He's a free man, I can't tell you not to go. Just don't get attached, cause it doesn't last." After that Hank and I made our way home.

_Chapter 6_

Three months later, I sat across from April in her kitchen. We had been shopping, to diner, and were now enjoying a bottle of whiskey. Her green eyes beginning to fall from the ninety proof shots we'd been doing for an hour. "So how's things going with tall, sexy, and spangled?" A hiccup following her question.

I laughed and replaced the cap on the glass bottle. "I think you've had enough of that, and to answer your noisy ass question. Steve's a great guy and I enjoy his company but that's it."

She swung on her feet a bit as she stood and leaned across the bar toward me. "Oh come off it, Jennnnni. He's elmost purfect. Are you telling me, you haven't took that to bed?"

I smiled; she wouldn't remember any of this in the morning. "No, he's a wonderful friend, and I enjoyed going to the events as his date but nothing has ever come of it."

At that moment, Casey came in from the spare bedroom, looking more than ready for bed. He took April's arm and began to lead her toward their bedroom, but she pulled away for one more statement.

"What's wrong with you? If Casey looked like Stevie, I'd be riding him ever nite and all roo the day. Why aren't you?"

Casey lifted his wife into his arms and shot me a tired glance as if to say "I'm sorry" before heading into their room.

Her last question rolled over my tongue after I throw back the last shot. "Why aren't you?" I sighed, and placed the glasses in her sink. "Because he's not green skinned, eyed, and carrying a shell on his back. He's not Raph." Rubbing my tired eyes, I turned to head into their spare bedroom, and locked stares with my broken heart's desire. _"Shit."_

For what felt like forever all we could do was stare at each other. His eyes on me were steady and unnerving. _"Raph must have been out with Casey, but how long had they been here?" _

After about five minutes I steeled myself and stepped forward towards the doorway he stood in. "April has promised me the guest room for a week ago so the couch is all yours Raph."

He hesitated but moved a side anyway. "Ya look good, Jen."

That one made me hesitate in the doorway, my shaking hand on the door handle. "What does that mean? You ignore me or throw our tryst in my face for months and then you show up here and complement me? What the hell, Raph?"

He turned and invaded my place, nearly nose to nose with me. "I didn't ask for any of this! Lets remember who came and got in who's bed."

I met his angry eyes and then sighed. This was getting us no where. "And then it was dropped, I had left your room and the subject was done. You followed me into the shower and it started all over. It wasn't just me."

He sighed and his shoulders fell. "Your right. I'm sorry Jen."

Then he broke off, and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of whiskey as he went to the couch. I watched him nearly fall into the soft over used right end and then sighed as I closed the door.

_Chapter 7_

I woke up a couple hours later to soft light flooding the room and Raphael standing in the doorway. "Sorry, it's either this window or the one in Casey's bedroom. At least this way there's no surprises."

I nodded and moved to sit up, my eyes never leaving him. "What time is it?"

He yawned and stretched, his body glowing from the moon light coming in from the only partially covered window. "Almost one, that couch doesn't sleep worth a shit and I should get Don to look at this gash." It was then that I finally took notice of a poor excuse for a bandage on his right bicep.

I sighed and rose from the bed, my short nightgown falling just long enough to provide some modesty. "I'll grab the kit for the bathroom, you can sit." He shook his head and began to argue but I cut him off before the first word left his mouth. "Donny would kill me if he knew I saw that and then let you into the sewer. Just sit, I'll clean it up and wrap it tighter, then you can go."

I returned a few minutes later, half way expecting him to already be gone. To my surprise, he had sat on the end of the bed and was staring at the floor. He looked up and our eyes locked, though neither of us knew what to say.

I moved to his side and sat as I started pulling off the bloodied bandage. The wound would heal well if he managed to let it and didn't show any signs of infection yet though I cleaned it well anyway. He sighed and finally spook as I taped the fresh bandage close. "Thanks, I'm no good left handed when it comes to the delicate stuff."

Closing the kit, I smiled for the first time in his company in months and patted his sore arm genteelly. "You never have been. That's what makes the four of you such a good team. All four of you bring something to the table that the other's lack. Leo's a born leader, Mikey's the comic relief, Donny's the brains, and you're the pa..."

His sad voice interrupted me. "'nd I'm the pathetic hot-head that manages to ruin everythin'."

This statement shocked me and for a few seconds I said nothing. Then I took his face in my hands and forced him to look at me. "I was going to say you're the passion. None of you're brothers carry the drive that you do. Hot-headed yes, you are most definitely that but I'd never say you were pathetic."

At this point we were nearly nose to nose again, and his eyes had softened. Our breath mingled together and I suddenly realized just how far out of hand this could become. I broke our eye contact and pulled away, standing and moving across the room.

I heard Raph sigh from behind me and the bed creek from his weight shifting as he stood. "Sewer apples, Jen. What are we doing?"

A shudder ran through my body as he stopped behind me; close enough to touch, but never doing so. I laughed. "We're slowly killing each other." I shook my head. "How's Splinter?"

I watched his reflection in the glass as he ran a hand over his bald head. "He's about the same, stays tired all the time." He sighed. "I never thanked you for gettin' Hank down there. Donny tells everybody he couldn't have saved him without Hank."

I nodded, knowing that he was watching my reflection as well. "After over eight years now, how could I have done anything else when I received Leo's text? Steve had been at the institute having lunch with me and offered to come too but he didn't want to make the situation worse."

He smirked and I could see the amusement in his eyes before he even spoke. "Now I know you're crazy. Running out on 'prince charming' to come the aid of the 'village idiot'. Doesn't make much sense, Jen."

I laughed then because I knew he was right. Any number of other women did view Steve as the perfect man. Turning toward him now, I met his eyes and rested my right hand on his chest plate. "Yeah, but 'prince charming' has never been my type."

He didn't say anything but brought his left hand to cover mine, and stared into my eyes. It was if we were being drawn to each other and neither of us realized just how close we had come again until we were only a breath away. _"Damn, that makes twice in less than an hour, I need some distance from him."_

I pulled away and saw the disappointment in his face when I moved away and toward the bed. "I can't do this again Raph, I want our friendship back but not the sex. I'm tired and going to sleep, you're welcome to the other half of the bed." With that I pulled the covers back over my cold legs, my back turned to him.

He stood there for several minutes before reaching for the window. "I can't stay. I'm sorry." His body was tense and I could hear the shakiness of his voice as he gave the window frame a pull.

I sat up, turning his way and catching his attention. "Why? What are you sorry for?"

His eyes were sad and I could see the internal battle that he fought. "I lied."

With that he was gone out the window and into the night. The frame slid shut and the room was once again quite all but the soft cries that came from my broken heart.

_Chapter 8_

For the next four weeks Raph and I avoided anytime alone with each other. Though I had returned to spending time at the lair with all of the brothers, I made sure to always have Donny or Leo close by.

The realization of Raph's statement four weeks ago still had my mind reeling. We had been in love with each other despite our agreement and it had blown up in our faces. Now there were times that we could barely look at each other.

I was currently sitting on the couch with Angel and Mikey when my phone rang. The caller ID read _Rhodes, _and I answered smiling. "Hi Rhodie."

His voice was less than thrilled when he answered. "Hey Jen. Listen I've got a problem. You know about this fun raiser Tony's holding a banquet for the _Avengers_ and to honor anyone else who has served the city, right?"

I smiled; Rhodie hated the spot light more than anyone. "Of course, Steve has already asked me to be his date, along with Clint, Bruce, and I assume now you."

I could hear him sigh and couldn't help but laugh. "That figures, popular as usual, huh Jen."

Angel had taken an interest in my conversation and was now leaning in to hear more. "Don't sweat Rhodie. You need a beautiful young lady on your arm that won't be after your wallet afterwards." I turned the phone around to Angel and showed her a picture of him in his "blues" and she nodded. As she heard him say "that's about the jest of it".

This was going to be fun. "I've gotta ya covered so don't worry, a friend of mine, Angel will be happy to go with you. We're planning to meet at April and Casey's and Tony's renting a limo for all or us. Just ride with him to pick everyone up and you won't be disappointed."

He sighed and I could tell he felt the weight of his shoulders already. "Thanks, but what about Clint, and Bruce?"

I smiled again. "Clint finally asked Natasha and I have an old friend, Joy is coming into town today through next week for Bruce, we're all covered."

After saying goodbye to Rhodie and checking the time, I grabbed Angel's hand and pulled her to stand. We both kissed Mikey on the head, who was playing video games and then made our way toward the kitchen and our disregarded purses. Raph was standing there with Leo drinking water as we rushed by.

Raph smirked and raised an eye ridge. "And just where are you two headed in such a hurry."

I smiled while grabbing my keys and then answering his and now Leo's curious glances. "Joy's plane lands in about an hour and we're going to make a stop by Tony's first. After all, if he can plan this thing and force us to attend, the least he can do is pony up our dress costs!" Poor Angel nearly fell in the floor.

_Chapter 9_

The five days that passed to Saturday night seemed to be a blur. Now April's bedroom was packed with bags as Joy, Angel, and I worked to be ready in time. It would soon be five o'clock and Tony and the others would be picking us up.

At a knock on the door we all looked up as April slipped in and smiled. "Oh wow, you all look so beautiful. The guys and Splinter just got here to see you off; they're out in the living room." Joy and I watched as April and Angel left the room and she rested a hand on my shoulder.

I turned my attention back to lacing her dress and she sighed. "I hope this dress is alright, I've never been to anything this fancy." I finished and turned her around to inspect the back of her dress in the mirror.

I smiled and hugged her. "Don't worry, you look beautiful and if I know Bruce, he won't be able to speak most of the night. You'll do fine. Besides the ones the press will hound are Tony and Steve."

She laughed and returned my hug but had a serious expression as she pulled away. "I want you to know, nothing ever happened between Raph and me. He still loves you, I think he always has."

I nodded and sighed as I smoothed out my own floor length dress. "Yeah, I know, I still love him too. Things are just complicated."

She took my hand and began to lead us from the room. "Things are only as complicated as you want them to be."

We entered the living room together just as April had moved to open the door for Tony and everyone else. As Pepper and Natasha made their way over to us, I was grateful for the distraction from Raph's wide eyes.

Steve, Bruce, and Rhodie made their way to us as well and I made introductions for Bruce and Joy, as well as, Rhodie and Angel. Everyone seemed to be compatible and our large well dressed group posed several times for April to take pictures. The last of which was all the men receiving a kiss on the check from their dates.

Laughing April left to get all the men and baby wipe while the women gathered in her bedroom to retouch their make up. I could hear Tony ask Pepper to keep his and her "no" as an answer.

_Still in the Living Room_

Raphael had watched as the pictures were taken, diverting his eyes when the "kiss" pose was made. He could stand to watch Jennifer kissing Steven, not when they were so formally dressed and made such an attractive couple.

He moved over to Captain Rogers and knew that he already had the other man's attention. "Captain Rogers..."

Steven held up a hand and smiled. "Steve, we're all friends here." And then extended the same hand for Raphael to shake.

Raph sighed. "I wanted to apologize to you as well. You stepped in and helped Jen through our problems. Things are far from the way I'd like them to be but I'm trying to be her friend again."

Steve smiled. "She's an amazing woman."

Raphael nodded.

"Intelligent."

A nod.

"Talented."

Another nod.

"And she looks quite pretty tonight."

Raphael shook his head. "No, she beautiful, the most beautiful I've ever seen her."

Steve smiled and rested his hand upon Raph's left shoulder. "Then my friend, I suggest you go back there and tell her. She'll no doubt have an endless number of men eating out of her hands tonight. Don't let your chance get away."

_Back In April's Bedroom_

I was just finishing my lipstick when a knock from the door echoed in the room. Pepper stood, and opened the door with a smile. "Raphael?"

He stood there in the door way and cleared his throat as our eyes met. "Would all you lovely ladies mind giving me a minute with Jen...alone?"

Pepper, Natasha, Angel and Joy all looked to me and I nodded, then they left the room, with Raph closing the door behind them. He looked uncertain, which we odd, as he was always so confident.

After a few seconds under his unyielding stare I broke the ice by turning around for him. "Well, how do I look?"

His answer shocked me. "Breathtaking, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." He move the few feet that divided us and took both of my hands in his own. "I just got some advice from Steve."

My heart was pounding and my mind was racing. What on earth could Steve have told him? "Oh, and what was that?"

He smiled and released my left hand and reached into his belt. He held a Swarovski crystal bracelet in front of me and I was speechless. "I had bought this for you just before the weekend at the institute. My plan was to give it to you as we were loading the van and ask you to be not only my lover but what you already were, the love of my life." He sighed "It yours, I've carried it everyday since I left the institute. I want you to have it."

By the time he'd placed it in my hand, I was shaking and very confused. "Raph, I don't...I shouldn't take...I don't understand what this means."

He brought my right hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. "I think that you do. Decide if you're willin' to try again with me but to really be together, and I'll be waitin' for your answer." He then led me back to living room where the others were all waiting.

_Chapter 10_

At nearly four in the morning, the limo that Tony had rented was only occupied by Tony, Pepper, and myself; everyone else had already been dropped off.

The fun raiser had been a complete success. Though with Tony Stark running the show, no one was surprised. He and Pepper had been busy most of the night socializing with stock holders and interested investors.

Angel and Rhodie had completely hit if off and had made more than a few trips to the dance floor. Though she was about a foot shorter, the two had made an attractive pair and posed for the press twice during the evening.

Natasha and Clint had been found in a dark corner kissing after hours of being missing. The two had just started a romance that no one was sure would last but that would be fiery to say the least. They had gone home together.

Bruce and Joy had talked all through the night about their families, interests, and work related issues. The two were nearly as inseparable as Clint and Natasha but without the steamy lip lock. They exchanged numbers and a small kiss as Bruce walked her to the front of her hotel.

Though we were hounded by the press, the evening with Steve was enjoyable as always. He was questioned about the beautiful bracelet I wore several times and was always a true gentleman, his answer stayed the same.

"No, were only friends. That's a gift from someone she holds every dear to her heart."

He was the last to be dropped off besides myself and we stood outside the car as he fished his keys from his jacket. He leaned forward and placed a small kiss on my check.

"Follow your heart" was all he had said before opening the car door for me once again and walking into his building.

Pepper had long since drifted of to sleep on Tony's left shoulder and my head rested against his right. I had pulled Raph's bracelet from my wrist and was now holding it, my mind busy with what ifs.

His voice pulled me from my thoughts. "That's pretty, is it from Raph?"

I nodded and sighed. "He wants to talk about another chance. Said he had this since the day we all met Steve at the institute."

Tony wrapped a reassuring arm around me and I leaned into the embrace. "Same terms as before? Would that be worth it to you?"

I sighed again. "No, the same terms wouldn't be worth it at all. He said I was the love of his life and he wants to be more. I just don't want either of us to get hurt again."

He smiled and tightened his hold a bit. "Sounds to me like you've already made a decision. Should I drop you off at the lair?"

I nodded. "It's time to set things straight."

_Chapter 11_

The lair was silent as I pulled my shoes off and crossed the distance to the stairs that lead to the bedrooms. My heart was racing and each step I took caused my heart to flutter. This was right, I was home.

I was met by Leo at the bottom of the stares, a proud look on his face. Taking my left hand and examining the bracelet, he smiled, and pulled me to him to whisper our conversation. "Don't think he's slept at all tonight. He's been waiting, hoping you would come."

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. "This is what I want Leo. I want him."

He released me and lifted my chin. "Good then go tell him, and make sure neither of you will ever let go again." Then he moved into the kitchen.

I climbed the stairs, walked down to his curtain and pulled it back. Leo had been right. He wasn't sleeping; instead Raph sat on the end of his bed, still dressed in all his gear. His head was down and his elbows where supported on bent knees. As my shadow stretched into his room I could see him tense.

He looked up and our eyes locked as I moved into the room and he stood and moved towards me. We stopped just short of touching and his right hand moved to hold my left. "You're wearin' it."

I smiled and tightened my hold on his hand. "Was I not supposed to?"

He chuckled and drew me into a tight embrace, and had leaned in to kiss me, when I stopped him with a hand on his chest. "We have to agree on something first."

He nodded and waited for me to continue but never gave up his hold. My own hands came to rest around his neck and I played with the tales of his mask before speaking. "All or nothing Raph, I can't settle for less again."

He leaned into my ear and I could almost hear his smile form. "Done, 'm yours and you're mine. Can I kiss you now, or is there somethin' else you'd rather talk about?"

As he pulled back I smirked. "I love you, now shut up and kiss me."

"Love you too." He chuckled before claiming my mouth with his own.


End file.
